OK.I am back to blogging now ...Really didnt had the 'feel' to blog days ago ..So i stopped blogging for like just a few days?Got back my stupid results ..It was bad ..Very very bad ..Three Bs and Two Cs ..And i got a GPA of only 2.65 ..Thats real bad for me ..Haix ..Guess i really didnt studied enough ..After my parents know my results ..They were nagging and "suan-ing" me again ..You know .. sometimes ..Its real stress to be the only child ...You have to reach your parents expectations ..Who can they expect from but only you ..They want you to suceed ...They want you to be the best ...They dont want to also lose face in front of their friends, relatives etc ..But do you know ..To me ..Its real real stress ..Maybe to them ..They think that its the least they can expect ..That is to do well for my studies ..Get into a poly ...And study study study ..I know i know ..Its the least expects ..Of course i would not want to let my parents lose their face in front of their friends and relatives ...I really wished i wasnt in ITE ..I wished i was in poly now ..I really wished i did study real hard for my Os ...I really wished my Maths wasnt that bad ..I really wished i can now study real hard for my Os ...But i dont know why ... Somehow i just cant do it ..WHY?I asked myself this question ..I also dont know ..Sometimes the words my parents say really hurts me ...But they wont and dont know ..Leaving me in my room crying like a fool ...Like a stupid idiot ..WHY cry?When i brought this upon myself ..How i wish someone gives me the will the power the motivation to let me study for my Os ...But who?I guess besides myself no one can help me?I promised not to be so no confidence ..I promised not to be so pessismistic ...I promised not to be so irritating ..But sometimes ..The things i do ..Is because of the enviroment ..The feeling that ppl gives me ..Of course i dont wish to be the one i am now ..I know the main problem is me ..But the enviroment and the people around me ..Makes me the one i am now .....
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School's opening real soon ..
Four weeks of holidays ..
And i did not spent it fruitfully ..
I wasted this 4 weeks of holidays ..
Sleeping, watching tv, using the comp etc ..
Like i say ..
Its not that i dont want to study ..
I do not have the mentality and the will and the motivation ...
Its not strong enough ...
I would have to study real hard for my ITE and Os ..
I dont wish to get back this kind of results in semster 2 ...
I dont wish to get back this kind of results for my Os ...
I want to pass my Os and at least get into poly ..
Even if it isnt the course i want ..
AT LEAST ..
I am in POLY ..
P/s.This is going to be a long post i guess?
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Have not been going to the stadium recently ...
Because i felt discourage by *** ..
Sometimes i feel that my own motivation and will isnt enough ..
I still need friends to give me the power and motivation ...
I guess i wont succeed? Will i? Guess not ...
I am trying the very very best to cut down on those high calories food, sweet food and etc ...
Guess my post is long enough for those few days that i didnt post ...=)