musicismylife.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

it was really really really a great great great mistake for me to be here...
god,
why why why why why...
did u allow me to come to this world..
it was a mistake am i not wrong..
it was a huge huge huge mistake to be here..
why did u like a :
stupid
idiot
ugly
fat
irritating
no one likes
not a good human
all things in me sucks..really..
i really hate it...
i hate this kind of feeling..
all things that i do no one care..
u may say no..there are ppl who are about you...
your friends..
your parents...
all cares about you..
is that true..
no..
its not..
there are no one..
simply no one...
then why did i came into this world...
where it is useless for me to be here..
it is just a wrong,great,big mistake to be here..
it is just a trouble to people...
it's not that i am sensative or wat..
but...
i really really really really can feel it..
it is bad
it hurts
it's really painful
why don't u let me not to be exist in the world and rather let me get hurt
let me feel pain..
people reading this must be thinking..
what shit is the girl writing...
must be fake..
must be crying crocodiale tears..
acting away..
yes i am..so what..
since no one cares,
no one knows how i feel.
no one is there for me
no one
just no one
it really hurts
feeling somthing pierces into my heart..
i know many things without me will be better
really...
no use saying
no lah never lah
wont lah
where got no one care about you
you thinking too much
anyhow say lah etc
cant you see the attitude people treating you and the attitude people are treating me
cant you see the great difference
it is huge enormous great big
i rather nothing is done then seeing this
really
you wont have this kind of feelings
no one understands
because only i get this
only i feel this
what should i die
just die off
comitting suicide?can i?should i?
i think i should
but how do i?slit my wrist?
drinking in washing dish?
eating overdose of pills?
jumping down a high floor?
using a knife to kill myself?
steal a gun and shoot myself?
knock onto the wall till i am death?
get crashed by the cars on the heavy traffic on the expressways?
this all ways
which should i use?
which is better?
if there is by chance anyone reading this blog tell me which way should i use?
you asked me on the bus that day why i cried?
why?why?why?
why did i cried?i don't know?
just cried..
i felt left out?
i felt lonesome?
feels that all hates me?
sorry to those we saw me cried on the bus
i made your day bad although it was night

To: Siyan
i don't know will you see this...but i just wan to say
without me you will be better
you can be with yunmin and angel
i am just a stone blocking you
what should i do
you can tell me
sorry for doing all the things that hurt you
sorry

To: Angel
i don't know will you see this but anyway
i don't know why did you do that..
because you don't like that
but u can change people's mindset that it is 4 people not 3 people
you need not do that
I.ME.should be doing this not you

To:YUnmin
i don't know wil you see this but anyways
sorry to all the things i have done to you
i know how much sorry
will not make up what i did
but other then sorry i don't know wat to do
if without me you and siyan will be better i can...

To:those we hate me
i am sorry to those we hate me
i didnt mean it
but i think god made a mistake for giving me the chance to come here
made you people hate me
sorry
i really didnt mean it
what can i do to let you people not hate me?any ways you can tell me if i can do it?so that it would not let you people feel miserable..
really sorry...

♥ 12:00 PM

Monday, October 17, 2005

These few days have been a boring boring boring week for me...

doing nothing nothing and nothing..anyways...

quite happy that tomorrow am going back to school..

but thinking what will we be doing at school?

hmm....seems boring too..but at least been then being cooped up at home ...

anyways..me and my 2 friends went for a interview...

on the wednesday..at the JURONG JTC summit..

was quite weird and nervous as it was a very big building...

we had to exchange for a pass..actually it was a recruit company at the JTC...

we had to fill up forms..didn't really know how to..

after that we waited and waited..3 of us thinking will we be interviewed indivdually...

that a girl came and asked yan to go in..i was like OH no..indivdual interview...

min was the seond one to go in..i was the last one..well

she just asked me how much is my salary expection..

where could i work in..my working hours....blah blah blah..

she asked us to wait for her call..5 days have paseed..

but no news..hope we will get a job as soon as possible..

maybe we should still continue to go to the library to look into newspaper...

yst me and min went to cut our hair..at the new salon at yew tee..

well..not much changes to my hair..jus shorter then before..

min's hair..really quite a big change from her last hair cut...

don't know will she shock the others tomorrow when she goes to schooll..she is quite scared...

all the best to her..haha..gotta stop here..its already 1.23am...will update again if there is any event or anything...

``idiotic

```1610051.23am

♥ 1:09 AM

Saturday, October 15, 2005

我终于还是说了一句我爱你还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨

心跳的声音像舞动奇迹

你看着我说千万不要爱上你因为你只会让我伤心别傻了快点喊停

你那么冷静忽远又忽近

我知道我对你来说也许太年轻我想我猜我问我终于了解

原来为爱流的眼泪也是种甜蜜滋味

只想爱你当我和你走在一起就已经决定不看不听不问也不会放弃

是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定

只想爱你 好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你

我知道我偶尔有一点任性不管你做任何决定

究竟爱我还是逃避 Sorry我还是不会放弃爱你

我真的直想告诉你我爱你,直想好好爱你...可以吗?

♥ 1:21 AM

Friday, October 14, 2005

Uploaded 13 photos...
rainie yang,show luo,jolin,kenji wu's photos...
quite like them so just uploaded their photo....
especially kenji wu's...hmm..he made his this new album all by himself..
他应该算是创作型歌手吧!歌曲都还不错...
大顽家吴克群
首波:大舌头,第二波:周星星
罗志祥也即将发专缉了...催眠秀...
首波:真命天子
杨丞琳的专缉暧昧在09/09/05发行了...以前是4 in Love的成员
现在发行了个人专缉...歌声还不错..
首播:暧昧,第二波:单眼皮,第三波:理想情人...
我好像在帮他们宣传耶!!
反正也没人会看我所打的这个这么无聊的东西...
或许也没有人会来这个网吧...
或许他们都看不了华文...算了...习惯就好..
大家一向来都不喜欢我的...我也习惯了..
自己一个人的感觉...真的真的不好受...
不说了...都是废话...不看也罢!反正一向来都是这样....

``idiotic
```141005
````0225am

♥ 2:10 AM

罗志祥&蔡依林在真命天子MV

♥ 2:05 AM

蔡依林&罗志祥真命天子MV

♥ 2:05 AM

杨丞琳[暧昧专缉]

♥ 2:04 AM

杨丞琳[理想情人MV]

♥ 2:01 AM

杨丞琳&贺军祥在理想情人MV

♥ 2:01 AM

eLLa

♥ 2:00 AM

吴克群在大舌头MV

♥ 1:29 AM

吴克群&黄湘怡在大舌头MV

♥ 1:29 AM

吴克群和黄湘怡在大舌头MV

♥ 1:28 AM

吴克群已在10/7发行新专辑《大顽家吴克群》,(10/9)也特地在台北西门町屈臣氏前广场举行新专辑的“大顽家吴克群”签唱会

♥ 1:23 AM

帅帅帅!!

♥ 1:16 AM

吴克群[大顽家之周星星]

♥ 1:15 AM

大顽家吴克群071005

♥ 1:09 AM

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

我又换了blogskin...我知道很丑...大家忍一忍吧!
过去的那几个礼拜的事,我就不说了,反正也没有人要看我所写的废话...
just finished my N level so there were no school for this whole week,
feeling very very boring at home,
can't go out as there is no one to go out with,so
i stayed at home...
don't even know if i could get a job,
been doing nothing at home these few days,
playing,sleeping,eating,watching tv,chatting online & on the phone,smsed,
these were all the things i did..
isn't is boring...why is life so boring...
if it is so boring why can't i jus end my life?
thinking and thinking abt everything..
studies?relationships of friends,etc....
what the hell is going on with me...i don't understand...just don't
doing this is wrong doing that is wrong..
thinking should'nt we be more independent and not always leaning onto someone for help...
why must we always stick together...
why can't we be independent...
why can't you..
why can't i...
gonna stop with my craps and rubbish...
thinking why did i make a blog...
maybe i should'nt...

``idiotic111005
```6.34pm

♥ 6:34 PM

sHanwei&peifen

♥ 5:26 PM

JJ autograph

♥ 5:25 PM

sHanwEi & pEifeN250905

♥ 5:23 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005

5566 @ Dongli883

♥ 9:19 PM

1.49am

it's quite late now but i'm here typing my craps,so i am gonna cut short,

just finished my N level,finally,

i am so so happy,

well..i don't know if i gonna pass, but, i don't think so,

if my mum thinks that i should not go to O level,

why? because?i don't know,

she told me i could take up a course in the ITE which i am interested in?

well,just gotta wait for my results to be out,

about what happened the past few weeks,

maybe i'll write it tomorrow,

but no one will be interested,

so i might considered,

got to stop my crapping and ruubbish here....

♥ 1:49 AM