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Sunday, April 30, 2006

.wont be posting i think for the nxt 1 week as mid yr is going on
.today last day posting le
.just writing some craps here also dont know what to write here
.thinking mid yr must do well but after hearing what the teachers said
.i think wan dan le
.really is wan dan le
.all so tough
.how to pass
.maybe chinese still can mian qiang pass with maybe a B3
.B3 already very bad le
.recently i feel that my chinese seems to be getting worser and worser from A2 bcum B3 le...
.haix...die le lor...o levels this year lor..
.feeling a little regret by coming to sec 5
.maybe should go to ITE
.yst me sy and ym tried to speak in eng..
.arghh...really is very weird
.so weird..
.but think we'll get used to it if we often speak in english but.. but... but...
.haix...haix...haix...
.i also dont know what am i doing here typing all this craps and rubbish...
.just want to type as much as much as i can cause around 1 wk wont be blogging...
.just want to release stress i think...
.haix...
.been thinking and thinking and thinking..
.thinking alot alot alot
.but just think only..
.think what ne
.almost everything i also think
.from bad to good to worse things..
.almost everything also can think but not those things la..
.craps craps craps craps..
.say so many craps and rubbish...all for myself...
.to blog is to let me see...
.tagboard also for myself to tag...
.thats what me and ym was saying just now on phone...
.should i give up or shouldnt i?
.i dont know
.xiang wang ji jiu wang ji
.you na me jian dan jiu hao le

.ke shi wo wang bu liao
.ta?xi huan wo ma?wo ye bu zhi dao?ying gai shi bu xi huan
.i stop my craps le...
.tml have to go to library to study le...
.today didnt even study at all
.die le...
back one week later....


12:51 PM


Saturday, April 29, 2006

`Many days didnt post le cause i couldnt use the comp
-Thursday-
`had my nafa test
`just slack thru the whole test and only did sit and reach ba
`most easy de and no need use much strength at all...
`well...as for the details of th nafa dont think i will say ba
`i scare i'll be too long winded about it
`but c.m fell for the nafa at the shuttle run
`see already also pain but he say not pain
`hope he's ok
`and for english
`we had grp work but then Ms Fern called ym for a private teaching as her eng oral wasnt really gd so Ms Fern want to teach her...
`when she came back we talked a bit she suddenly rain
`she jus went out to the toilet
`sy went to look at her
`was quite worried to know what happened so i went too
`found out that it was because ym scare her english will fail so she rain
`after that talk about it and the 3 of us all rain
`haix...that day also quite moody so i also felt like crying too


-Friday-
~today hmmm...today....
~i think i've got short term memory
~i dont seems to remember things that just happened
~too after school waited for the guys as they hare having oral
~after that went to mac
~wanted to study after eating but in the end sitting there doing nothing
~was quite tired so decided to go home and have a rest before going to tuition at 5.30pm
~so me and ym and sy went to my place to take a nap
~wanted to really really take a nap but dunno why ended up we keep felt like laughing
~i also dunno why lo
~but did have a little short short de nap but when i was falling asleep ym's phone vibrated
~ i see and saw is CW msg
~ARGH...nearly fell asleep then he msg disturbed me..haha...no la..nv..
~after that went for tuition
~the teacher is call MR Lam ba...
~that's what ym told me lor
~quite weird weird de at that
~cause is really really quiet with no one talking
~but overall the teacher was quite good but abit very serious until dont really dare talk to him
~hope he can be of help to me so that i can pass my maths at least a grade which can get me to poly ba



MID YEAR...haix...stress stress stress....mid yr and it is really really tough one this time...
wan dan le...I AM STRESSED!!!sure is fail many many subjects de....haix...


1:25 PM


Friday, April 21, 2006

*nothing much happened today
*so nothing much for me to write
*so i dun think i will write anything on today


200406
`yst we had our school awards day
`this year awards day is at SP de conventional hall
`had to wear FORMAL de clothing there [so troublesome]
`the 3 of us were like going to funeral all black
`prepared and went to school
`took a bus there and was really embrassed as almost the whole bus were regenites
`reached school even more
`but there were ppl who were even more formal then us
`went up to hall to gather
`outside and inside the hall gathered many many regenites
`took our attendence and our tickets
`after that still had to SIT down on the floor so troublesome
`ppl especially we girls were skirt or dresses so formal then have to sit at the school hall-_-
`after that slowly class by class went to the sch bus and sat off
`the bus was "cold"
`so "cold"[i'm sure there's somthing wrong with the bus aircon]
`we reached there and went up to the conventional hall
`settled down and waited and waited
`finally the ceremony started
`they showed us the arrival of the GOH
`went he came in we had to clap for him, sang the sch song, let the GOH to sit first b4 we could
`followed by the GOH speaking, Ms Lo speaked
`after all these the prize giving started
`they gave our the awards
`around 6.30 i tink
`all went out to collect our dinner
`so "expensive" food we had -> nasi lemak
`3 dollars to eat that
`then sy said that there were not enough so we went to eat the food that the VIPs are eating
`went down there not much food left
`didnt eat much shared wif sy
`i almost died of gastric
`after that went back to see the concert performed by our school
`quite interesting and nice performance
`after that went home


〖知人知面不知心,为什么人都要看外表,外表好品德就好吗?人就好吗?心就好吗?我不觉得】
〖为了你我做得到,为了你我什么都愿意】


12:06 PM


Wednesday, April 19, 2006

我累了,我真的真的累了。
真的真的好累。


10:45 PM



TO:你们
没有我在,你们一定会更快乐。
如果是这样,我会离开。
我会走开。
TO:你
你这样应该是在告诉我你讨厌我吧!
我明白了!我知道了!这样你应该会开心点的话,
我也心甘情愿。我不会放弃你但也不会打扰你!
之前所说所做的一切,对不起。


10:21 PM


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

.didnt have bio practical[luckily!!]
.went to lot 1 to buy Ym de clothes for awards day de
.just walked around to see see lor as sy also wanna buy
.went to eat den go see see de
.after ym bought hers we didnt saw what we wanted so went to bpp to collect mine lor
.heavy heavy rain lo, almost wet le
.reached there le went to take my shirt then walked around to see for other things but didnt
.in the end went to kranji de T*** F*****
.quite big there first time there too
.choose for quite long then sy bought the dress abit like ym de
.theirs all so cool then mine is like ARGH
.wo mei you lian jian ren ar
.I DUN WAN TO GO AWARDS DAY LE LA WO MEI LIAN JIAN REN LE
.thats all le ba
.gotta stop writing le
.hope tml not so boring
.and FNN sure wan dan de lor
.haix


10:56 PM


Monday, April 17, 2006

他对我还是那么的冷淡
说的话都不超过十个字
看来他是真的真的非常非常讨厌我
是我所做的事让他觉得烦吗?
还是因为。。。?
我也不知道。。。
有谁能告诉我?
没有人把?
或许也只有他自己知道。。。
如果我做了什么让你不高兴的事,告诉我好吗?
我只想你快乐。。
只要你快乐,我什么都可以做。。。
我也知道你不可能看到这篇。。。
但我只想告诉你。。。
我真的还是喜欢你。。也想把上面所说的话让你知道。。。

×明明知道没有可能但还是喜欢你!我该放弃吗?×


12:19 AM


Sunday, April 16, 2006

.woke up at 10am
.ate breakfast & get ready to go out
.was a little late meeting min[sorry wor]
.then took lrt to bpp[gt renovate like nv leh??]
.went to find the place where the autograph session is held[i didnt noe where was it]
.found le then was thinking should be wait there or wat
.my friend then walked past me w/o seeing me
.we decided to grab sumthing to eat first
.we went to buy some food and went back there[quite hot there but nice scenary]
.finish eating sat there 4 awhile felt a little boring
.so went over to tell my friend that i'll be back later help me to save 2 place
.we went to walk ard bpp
.nth much there actually[seems dat lot 1 is better=p]
.ard 2plus we went back and sat down
.waited and waited when we sat Dou Shi Da Fa Xian de host L**M***L**
.they were recording for 1 segment of e show
.they wanted us to shout "ZHANG SHAN WEI DA SHENG SHUO AI NI"
.we did it for ard 3-4 time ba den they sa ok le
.after that the host of the autograph session M*L* came
.she talked to us when suddenly we saw from far came awei and a grp of ppl cuming out of the lift
.we screamed and shouted
.but he had to rest and do a tv interview
.after awhile he came and talked abt his album
.he sang Shi Xin Feng,Zhen Xia De Ying Hua,Da Sheng Shuo Ai Ni
.he also danced Dinosaur & He Quan[jus a small part]
.after that we waited to go up to get his signature
.we were quite in front so it was our turn
.after getting his autograph we went to bpp's library
.after awhile we went hm[it was raining cats & dogs]
.he is still as shuai as usual haha
.still like him but not as much as fu=p
This was what happened today..changed the method of writing so as to make it not so long winded[i hope so]

*Sat150406*
.woke up quite early today
.had to go accompany min to accompany parry to buy clothes
.met them at yew tee
.we first went to cwp
.didnt saw what he wanted even after having our lunch?
.so we went to orchard
.also walked quite a few places also dun have what he wanted
.finally at taka i think
.he finally bought ONE shirt
.god bless us[haha..=P]
.the two of us nearly vomitted blood just by helping him choose the clothes
.his expections were too too "low"
.he wanted simple simple design
.but HIS SIMPLE WERE COMPLICATED
.after that we wanted to go home
.but then there were too many ppl so we sat at a place and chatted quite alot of things
.then found out parry is quite a mischevious kid in the past haha
.chatted for awhile then went home


11:55 PM



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2:57 AM



还是伤心,还是难过,还是孤单,还是讨人厌。。
我还是觉得自己很逊,很差劲,很讨人厌。。
我只能说应该也没有人能体会我的一切。。
或许不应该存在的人应该是我。。
不应该活在在世上。。
对!我是悲观,我没自信。。。
但是。。我应该如何有自信。。。一点办法也没有。。。
好难过真的好难过。。。
你们没体验过。。。
我猜想如果有看到这则post的人。。。应该觉得我是很虚伪的很假的人。。。
大概身边的朋友也听腻了我时常说的那些话吧。。。
大家都觉得我很烦。。。
无数个夜晚,湿透的枕头,红肿的眼睛。。。
谁知道?没有人。。只有我自己。。。
也没人会理会我,关心我。。。
我只是个透明的物体。。。
一点价值也没有。。
让父母浪费花在自己的身上。。。
辜负了父母。。。
真的很对不起他们。。。
让朋友感到很烦,很厌倦,很讨人厌,很不开心。。。
我真的真的很对不起大家。。。
让大家浪费花在我身上的宝贵时间。。。
或许你认为我只是想要博取同情。。。
但我不是。。。
这里。。。
是唯一我能够把所有的一切一切发泄和说出来。。。
也只能这样了。。。
我只到大家都很不喜欢我,都很讨厌我。。。我心理有数。。。
'我无所谓。。。
我知道自己是不能和平凡人一样。。。
根没有资格去交朋友,去喜欢任何的人。。。
我只会让他们觉得很烦,很讨人厌。。。
我唯一能做的就是说声。。对不起!!!
也想对我喜欢的那个人说对不起。。。或许你知道了。。或许你还不知道。。。只想跟你说声对不起。。。让你觉得烦的是我,让你痛苦的也是我。。。只要你快乐我什么都愿意为你。。。


12:47 AM


Thursday, April 13, 2006

so so so boring so come post lo...
haix..i also dunno what to write here...
write le also like that..nv write also like that..
so lousy de blog..who will want to see...
ghost only ba..
haix...dunno why..
today and ysterday feeling so moody...
so many feelings i also dunno what is what and why got this feeling..
how i wish i have someone to talk to...
or someone who can talk non stop to let me listen..but who?
no one lor...talk to myself..
later my parents thought i got problem...
but i indeed have problem ba i tink....
nono..the way is to jump die the building...that way is faster...
everything also no need to think no need to bother no need to have those feelings...
what u ppl gone thru b4 i gone thru too...
who say i wont know those feelings...
i know it..i understand how it feels...i gone thru abit little deeper then u ppl did..
the hurt is much much more deeper then what u ppl went thru and gone thru...
maybe u would think otherwise...whatever it is...i dun care..i dun wish to care...
everything i do know is useless...for no reasons..
should i forget u or should i let you know?i dunno?
but whats th point when i know it is impossible that we can be together as i know u wont like me?
should i persist or should i give up?
i dunno..i really dunno..can someone tell me?

so many feelings inside of me...haix...what should i do?
maybe i shouly learn to just keep everything inside of me..
and not telling anyone..
its a better way for me..
at most i becum zi bi..
i am already a little zi bi already..
so its ok ba...
mid years coming...what have i prepared?
nth...nth..nth..nth
is it the right choice to be in sec 5?it dun seems to be for me..
not that i dun wish to study...i just...arghh...
i dunno how to describe it...just...
4get it..
i am just typing bullshit here...u can dun bother to read it...
it is only wasting ur time..
and i am sorry for that..
but i think this is the only place for me to say all this bs...
think i better stop here...i might write more and more longer..


10:52 PM


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

一切都真的平息了吗?我也不知道?或许吧?
today had our sch sports day...damn damn damn BORING and HOT
lessons ended around 10.20+ den me,yunmin, siyan,alwyn and kenneth took a bus to yew tee and went to yishun de Northpoint to walk walk...
quite boring..reach there first thing is eat...cause was quite hungry...
den went around to walk walk...really boring lor..
den later go in to Bk to sit there for nothing..

we really is BORING...
after that decided to go back..
so went back to take mrt...
after that we hmmm..bought drinks..saw BEAR at 7-11...
the 5 of us took a bus to the stadium..quite many ppl already..
then went in...went to our hse there and sat down...
actually is sit together and at a real read corner de place but then...
teachers la NCC la chasing not our resilience de to go back to their own hse so we slowing moved fr the very corner to a bit centre de place lor...
this yr at least got new and more different things to play so not that boring..but still it is boring..
waited and waited...
many gathered at the gate to go out of the stadium...
finally all was like crazy..squeezing out of the gate...
AND A STUPID SEC3 OR 4 GUY....DAMN DAMN RUDE...ABOUT WHAT HE SAID I DUN WISH TO SAY..JUST THAT HE IS RUDE...STUPID GUY...NO..ITS A GIRL...CAUSE HE IS NOT GENTLEMEN...

think i'll stop writing...
dun like this kind of mixed feelings inside me...

[i may look happy in front of all of you...
but you are wrong..i am not what i am...
just another side of me i think?
i am someone who is having a little DEPRESSION i think?]
someone who thinks of suicide?someone who think life is meaningless?
someone who looks all things on the dark side but not on the bright side?
yes..i think thats me...change?to be more happy?with so many problem in me..i dun think so?i can not be happy...forever i think...]





9:23 PM


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

他恨我吗?
他讨厌我吗?
他觉得我很烦吗?
他不喜欢我吗?
他有把我当朋友吗?
我知道自己没可能和他在一起!
因为自己条件不好,因为他心中或许已有了别人
我该怎样办?放弃吗?等待吗?
继续喜欢他吗?
喜欢一个人不一定要和他在一起,只要他开心就好?
真的是这样吗?我也不知道。
我也不知道他有把我当朋友吗?
或许他根本没把我当朋友。
或许我想太多
但这是我得感觉,他所给我的感觉
我真的真的真的很恨自己
多希望我是不存在的!
我要得是什么?
我只想要别人的那一点别人的关心,那一点的注意。
我真的这样不值得别人这样对我吗?
为什么?是因为我人格不好吗?我的外貌吗?我太讨人厌吗?到底是什么?有没有人能够告诉我?我可以改,改了后。会不一样吗?
不知道。。。为什么。。。这世上那么不公平。。。
或许我真的不适合在这世上。。。
难道又是我的错吗?
是因为我问了不该问的事而遭成的?
已经不是第一次了?或许真的真的是我的错。。。
是我太多关闲事了。。对不起!!!

[what happened?i dunno?dun ask me]


10:55 PM


Saturday, April 01, 2006

decided to come and update today...
just felt like..
today last lesson was english..
we had a very very very (x100000) easy compre test...
it was so so so "easy" that we hated doing it...
it was so difficult lor..
and there was the teacher there...
abit proud..
and wrote on the board that we had to write around 1 para?
english compre where will need to write so much as in around 1 para
and one question is around hmm...more then 10 marks or what ba..i 4got what he said already...
he seems to be looking down on us...
and we didnt said that the txtbk question were easy to do it was so other ppl..
one person said it doesnt mean that the whole class means it right?
ARGH...MS FERN WE MISS YOU!!!PLS COME BACK!!!
hope that md fern comes back asap...
her lessons is much more better then that teacher teaching us now...
today we had a bio practical extra lesson as we skipped the lesson on wed...
so we had to make up for it...[so troublsome]
we were using the microscopes to look at cells of plants, red blood cell etc..
we left the lab at around 2+ i think...

after that we took a bus to yew tee and went to mac..
with ray,parry,kenneth,siyan,yunmin and me...
went there to have our "lunch"?
ate until very full and we talked about many funny stuffs and made us nearly vomitted our food...[so disgusting *eeee*]
we talked until like around 3 or 4 + ba then we went home...
but yunmin and siyan were chasing afer ray as he took pictures at mac...[YM's photo ba i tink so?]
after they walked wif me as they going to take 302..
along the road 5 of them like "crazy" kicking a orange orange "fruit"?[i also dunno whats that] they were having so much fun...they i went home le...
[tao yan yi ge ren ke yi zhao chu hen duo li you, dan xi huan yi ge ren que shi mei you li you de]
[ru guo zai zhe yang ju xu xia qu, wo gan cui qu si le suan le, suo yi yao jia you]
[wo ying gai zhe yang ne?hao fan...]
[wo hen ri ren tao yan ba?dui ying gai shi zhe yang...wo shi ge hen fan you tao ren yan de yi ge ren...hai...]


2:36 AM