musicismylife.

tomorrow's teacher's day ..

NONO .. ITS THE DAY AFTER TML

was actually kinda of hoping to go back ..

but then ...

NO ONE'S GOING BACK ..

SO I'LL WONT BE GOING BACK ..

SOBS ..

I MISS THE PLACE WHERE I AM BORN ..

THAT ARE TONS AND TONS OF MEMORIES OVER THERE ..

ALTHOUGH MANY THINGS HAVE CHANGED OVER THE PAST 5 YRS? SINCE I MOVED FROM YISHUN TO YEW TEE?

EVEN SO ..

ITS THE PLACE WHERE I HAVE LIVED FOR MY PAST 15 YRS ..

HOW COULD I JUST SIMPLY FORGET IT ..

RIGHT???

ANYWAYS ....

WANNA WISH ALL TEACHERS A VERY HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY ..

OOPS ..

I HAVEN WRAP MS FERN'S PRESENT ..

GTG ...

TAKE CARES ALL !!!

♥ 12:22 AM

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU

♥ 10:43 PM

只想跟他说声对不起

♥ 3:11 AM

i slit my wrist again ... but why i dont feel the pain ...

this was my msn nick ..

people maybe thinking that i wish to get their attention ..

i want people to pity me ..

NO ..

it wasnt my intention to catch their attention or want them to pity me ..

it was just a NICK ..

just a nick ..

really ..

no other intention ..

if i is because that i put this nick that caught ppl's attention ...

then i rather i dont put that nick ..

or maybe .. yes .. i wanted to catch their attention ...

maybe not ...

我很矛盾...

心很烦..

有人说割脉是会割上瘾..

割上瘾不是好吗？

这样我可以一了白了..

不是我不要听你们的话..

是我不能控制自己的情绪...

who cares if i am dead ..

only my parents ...

maybe only my two best buddy ..

only them ..

AND NO ONE ...

i am not being cared, not being loved, not being liked by everybody ..

it may not be worth it ..

wanting to die because of some ppl ..

but ..

i have had enough of it ..

really enough ...

i dont wish to go through that again ..

i dont wish to know anyone anymore ..

i dont wish to know any new friends anymore ..

friendster may be good to know people ..

but ..

knowing those people aint any better then now ..

they have hurt me even even more ..

just what wrong have i done to get this kind of treatment ..

tell me ..

please ..

i wish to know ..

because of looks?

attitude?

behaviour?

the way i speak?

or what ..?

tell me please ..

i want to know ...

you wont know how it hurts deep inside me as you have not gone through this ..

people say to be happy and not to be so silly and be a fool and so stupid to go and slit your wrist ..

说的容易做的难...

you may say that it is me myself to decide if i want to be happy or not ..

but it is difficult ..

really difficult ...

if i could do it ..

i would not have me like this ..

♥ 2:01 AM

Been a few day since i last blogged ...
today went with yummy for a haircut ..
its been a few months i think since i last cut my hair ...
but everytime i go for a haircut it seems that i look like i have never cut my hair ..
anyways ... i met yummy at my place here ...
we went to the salon which we would always go to and asked for the price ..
yummy heard the place and said it was expensive ...
so we said we would have a lunch before coming back ..
so we went to Mac to have lunch ..
we were chatting around and went suddenly yummy said she saw Mr Teo walk passed ...
so i said "You sure ma?" as she has $50 stamps on her eyes ..
she then waited for him to walk pass again ..
she was shocked and say "YES!! YES!! really is Mr Teo ..'
haha ..
but anyways ..
we continued to eat and chat ..
after that we left to cut our hair ..
and Mr Teo walked out of Kumon ..[wah .. kumon leh .. his sons must be clever kids ..]
yummy was so afraid that she just ran off ..
LEAVING ME BEHIND ..
humph .. always like this ..
anyways .. in the end still didnt let him see us and we walked off ..
went to the other salon and asked for the price ..
it was $12 ..
so i asked yummy if she would like to cut it here or the one we used to go ..
she still preferred the one we used to go to ..
so we went there ..
sat down ..
waited for quite a while ..
yummy went to get her hair rinsed first before me ..
after that i waited a while b4 someone came and cut my hair ..
yummy was quite long but SHE STARTED first i think ...
anyways .. in the mid of cutting my hair ..
heard ppl coming in and asking for haircut ..
heard a guy ...
he wanted to cut his hair ..
i think he also frequent this shop ..
when i was ok ..
i stood up ..
and to my surprised ...
the guy who was waiting for a haircut ..
was that stupid pervert guy from our school last time ..
still remembered that time when he come into our class and said some very pervert things ..
he was then sec 5 i think .. and so childish ..
anyways .. i then walked over to yummy's place ..
she is so troublesome la ..
=p ...
the hairstylist cut her hair and was ok but when she showed yummy her hair with the mirror she said it was no short enough ..
the hairstylist was already like kind of pissed off by yummy ..
so i waited for a while b4 she was ok ..
paid the money after that and we walked around yew tee before going home ..
oh .. we sat at my block's void deck and chatted for a while b4 sending her to 302's bus stop ..

♥ 3:26 AM

PERHAPS LEAVING THIS WORLD WOULD BE THE BEST CHOICE FOR ME NOW ...

NOTHING HAPPENED TO ME .. REALLY ... I AM JUST UPSET WITH MYSELF

I AM NOT BLAMING ANYONE AT ALL ..

I JUST FELT THAT LEAVING THIS WORLD WOULD BE THE BEST WAY ..

MAYBE I SHOULD ALSO NOT CONTACT ANYONE, DONT GO ONLINE ...

ANYWAYS ... TAKE CARE ALL ..

I'M FINE ...

♥ 10:40 PM

Tomorrow's National Day !!!!
wont be going to school for 2 days ..
cause it's holiday ..
yeah!!
but sad to say ...
prelim's coming ..
Os coming soon ..
our english's oral coming to ...
i seems to be losing my voice ..
wish i dont want it to happen as the oral is coming ...
how i wish i could speak fluently in english ..
i know my english is bad ..
but at least i can at least speak ENGLISH ... but just that its not that fluently ..
anyways .. trying my best to do a good job for the English oral ...
anyways .. Ms Fern say that i did improve a little .. and that i should try harder to aim for a 9?
HMM .. anyways .. i'll stop here .. maybe i'll post another time ..

♥ 11:46 PM

Tomorrow's National Day !!!!
wont be going to school for 2 days ..
cause it's holiday ..
yeah!!
but sad to say ...
prelim's coming ..
Os coming soon ..
our english's oral coming to ...
i seems to be losing my voice ..
wish i dont want it to happen as the oral is coming ...
how i wish i could speak fluently in english ..
i know my english is bad ..
but at least i can at least speak ENGLISH ... but just that its not that fluently ..
anyways .. trying my best to do a good job for the English oral ...
anyways .. Ms Fern say that i did improve a little .. and that i should try harder to aim for a 9?

♥ 11:46 PM

hey thanks ..

you know who you are ...

♥ 11:40 PM

Yesterday was Superband's finals ...
was not really very "high" ...
dunno why ..
but really wish to hear the songs they are singing ...
B1 was Lucify
B2 was J3
B3 was MiLuBing
B4 was Soul
J3 sang Jazz version of 小微。。。
it was really NICE ...
soothing ...
really really nice .. as if you were at the beach now and listening to them sing ..
but so sad too bad ..
Soul and MiLuBing got into the next round ....
but J3 was really great and at least they have got into the finals ..
it's already very good ...
anyways ... in the end MiLuBing won the superband finals ..
and they would be signed by Warner music ..
and would become 5566's 师弟。。
its gonna be GREAT ...
shall end here ...
i'm being longwinded if i continue writing ...

♥ 7:06 PM

我讨厌虚情假意的人。。。
不在乎我就不要告诉我你在乎我。。。
不喜欢我不要说你喜欢我然后在我背后做些小动作。。。
我讨厌。。。
我讨厌你们。。。
我讨厌不真实的人。。。
我讨厌看外表不看内心的人。。。
如果你不喜欢我这个朋友，就不要说你多么关心我。。。
我宁愿你说你不喜欢我好过你说那些虚伪的话来伤害我。。。
那样会更痛，我会伤的更深。。。
或许，这就是你的目的。。。
如果真的是这样我也无话可说。。。

♥ 6:49 PM

WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY IS IT THAT I AM JUST SO SO SO SO TINY IN PEOPLE'S HEART ...
我在别人的心里原来是那么那么的渺小。。。
我连人都不是。。。
为什么。。。
我也是人。。
难道我不是吗？
那我是什么？
宠物吗？
我是人！我也有感觉的！
受到这样的对待，心很痛。如果今天你是我，而你有了这样的待遇。你感觉如何？开心吗？快乐吗？
应该不会开心吧。
叫我不要想太多，不要往坏的那一方面想。
有了这样的对待，你觉的我能多快乐，多开心。
当你们这样对我时，你们有想到我的感受吗？
肯定没有，如果有的话，你们就不会那样对我了。

♥ 2:25 AM

YES I AM ALWAYS THINKING ON THE NEGATIVE SIDE

YES I AM VERY PESSIMISTIC

YES I AM DEPRESSED

SO WHAT IF I AM ..

SO WHAT IF I ALWAY THINK ON THE NEGATIVE SIDE

SO WHATI IF I AM VERY PERRIMISTIC

SO WHAT IF I AM DEPRESSED

SO WHAT ..

♥ 2:19 AM

I WAS ANNOUNCED DEAD ON 03/08/2006

♥ 2:16 AM