musicismylife.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

JUST WHO AM I?
WHAT AM I?
WHAT AM I DOING HERE ..
IN THIS WORLD ..
TIRED?MAYBE I AM ..
FEELING THAT LIFE'S MEANINGLESS ...
IS THIS DEPRESSION ?
SO WHAT IF IT IS ...
SO WHAT IF I AM HAVING DEPRESSION ..
WHATS THE BIG DEAL WITH IT ..
MANY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD IS HAVING DEPRESSION ..
WHATS THE BIG DEAL WITH ME HAVING DEPRESSION ...
NO ONE CARES ..
JUST NO ONE ...
DONT TELL ME YOU CARE IF YOU DONT ...
IT HURTS MORE THEN ANYTHING ...
IT HURTS MORE THEN IF YOU TELL ME THAT YOU DONT CARE RATHER THEN YOU SAY YOU CARE BUT IS BLUFFING ME ..
YOU WONT BE ABLE TO KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH ..
NO ..
DONT SAY YOU KNOW ..
YOU DONT ...
YOU REALLY WONT KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH ..
I AM NOT TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO PITY ME ..
I AM JUST WRITING OUT ALL ABOUT HOW I FEEL INSIDE OF ME ...

♥ 7:32 PM

对不起。。。对不起。。。

首先要跟Kiwi说对不起，那天不小心打到你的头，真的真的不是故意的。

然后想跟Peace说对不起，要不是因为我，你们就不需要走路了。是我固执。

之后想跟Strawberry说对不起，那天一直拿冰丢你。真的很对不起，或许是因为最近心情都不是很好。

最后想跟Yummy说对不起，那天是我的错，要不是我催你，你或许就会及格了。

真的真的很对不起。我所做的一切，真的很对不起你们。

我知道我很任性，什么都是我的错。

对不起大家。

♥ 7:19 PM

Been thinking why am i here ...
what to do if i failed my Os ..
what if i cant get into a poly ..
retake?
ITE?
or ...
WORK?
i dont know ..
life meaningless for me ..
REALLY ...
TOTALLY MEANINGLESS ...

♥ 1:46 AM

Sunday, July 23, 2006

我还喜欢你吗？
连我自己都不知道。。
心情很乱。。。
或许对你的喜欢已经慢慢的淡去了吧。。。
“爱上一个没有结果的恋情，也算是幸福吗？”
这是我在一本小说里看到的。。。
我应该放弃吗？
可是我也尝试过要放弃，尝试过要把你给忘了。。。
但，我是真的做不到。。
是因为我不肯放弃，还是我不舍得放弃，还是，如韵敏所说的属于牧羊座的人，一旦有了喜欢的人，是不会轻易放弃的，而是勇敢的去追。
真的是这样吗？
我自己也不知道？
时间真的能冲淡一切吗？
如果时间真的能冲淡一切，那我现在也不会那么痛苦了。
都已经过了半年。。。
但我对他依然还是一样。。
都忘不了。。。
明知道真的真的是没有可能。。
但我就是始终不肯放弃。。。
为什么？为什么？

♥ 10:52 AM

eh .. wanna say sorry ..

was wasting your time when you were so busy ..

i was still so hmm ...

aww .. i also dont know how to say ..

just find it not good to take back the 30 cents ..

i am just like so called "friend"

just find it not good to take it ...

so sorry ..

i just left it ...

sorry ..

erm .. ya .. just wanted to say this ...

i doubt you will see this ba ..

:或许看到我后你不想和我做朋友，我无所谓，我也已经习惯这样了。或许是这样，或许我想太多。我也不知道。

♥ 10:39 AM

TO : MY FRIEND

hmm .. what to say ..

just wanna say dont worry to much ..

things will be all right ..

but i know its difficult for you not to worry ..

but i'm sure things will be alright ..

remember friends are there for you ?

so if you need any help ..

i'm here ..

your friend ..

so ...

dont worry too much ..

i'm not sure if you will see this ..

but if you really see this ..

please leave me a tag ok !! =]

♥ 10:33 AM

Yesterday went to IMM ...
i woke up at around 9+ ba ..
also dont know why i woke up so early ..
anyways .. just slack around ..
using the comp ..
and parry pm me and asked me where was the meeting place and time ..
he was going ..
but the night before he say he wasnt ..
anyways .. prepared and went out at around 12+ ...
reached there first and didnt see anyone ..
then suddenly when i turned around i saw kenneth ..
then asked where were the others ..
then suddenly saw yummy standing at a pillar at the cck mrt ..
she came in ...
after that saw parry ...
he didnt see us and just took the escalator up to the platform ...
but we still had to wait for peace,alwyn and weeyang ..
so we waited and waited ...
finally peace came ...
followed by alwyn ..
we waited for weeyang ..
when we saw him peace came in ...
and saw jazreel beside her ...
then we all went up ..
weeyang was so quiet ..
didnt speak at all ..
thought what happened to him ..
anyways ..
talked to jazreel and exchanged numbers with her ..
she said to meet her up when we could for an outing ..
she was so HIGH .. lols ..
anyways .. we separated at Jurong East mrt ..
she was going to orchard to meet her friends ..
after that we went to JE mrt the popular there ..
walked around as peace wanted to buy things ..
so just looked around ..
went off to IMM at around 1 ba ..
actually was waiting for the IMM shuttle bus ..
weeyang walked alone to IMM ..
but we then decided to walk also ..
so we walked there ..
went to eat at KFC ...
after that went around IMM to shop ...
we saw lu jiang and cavin ...
they were there to flim their variety show ...
eh .. i forgot the show's name ...
and also saw chen liping and chen taiming the couples ..
after that at the other end of IMM we saw the channel 8 9pm show's actor ...
they were advertising their show??
yup ..
after that just continued to walk around ...
yummy went to buy her pants ..
and the guys went to play the machine to get the capsule thing with toys inside ...
they're trying to get eeyore and dont know what stuffs ba ..
i was talking on phone so didnt join them ..
after that kenneth and parry left ..
only left me, peace, yummy, weeyang and alwyn ...
after that ...
hmm .. i also how i should say what happened after that ...
went to buy some food at a "friend's" stall ...
haha ...
it was quite funny ..
i wasnt even laughing when i saw my "friend" and peace was laughing until her face became so red ..
in the end peace and yummy went and bought some food from the stall and told my "friend" i was his friend ..
hmm .. sounds weird eh ..
anyways ... nice food .. hahas ..
although i didnt buy ..
but i fork out the money to let them buy ..
haha ..
hmm ... shall end here ...
anticipating for the next outing ...

♥ 10:12 AM

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Been not in a good mood these few days ...

i dont know why too ..

haix ..

i hate it ...

but ..

so what if i am happy ..

its also the same as been down or bad mood ..

been thinking why did i make two blogs ..

EXTRA ... USELESS ...

meaningless to be here ..

when nothing i do i wil be happy ..

nothing i do will be good ..

i am NOTHING ..

BUT NOTHING ....

JUST NOTHING ..

just what am i doing following people to blog ..

what am i doing ..

i dont know ...

I JUST HATE ME ...

will be going out tml and the day after ...

tml will be going to IMM ...

for what ?

i also dunno ..

just walk around ba ..

just heard that it just "so call" renovated ..

and peace wanted to buy some stuffs ..

the day after will be going to play badminton with XIAOGUI ..

at where ..

i also dunno where's the place ..

btw ... the msg that peace send me thanks ..

but the answers are abit stupid ..

and i sent *** ..

the reply was so so ..

LAMESTUPID ..

i REGRET SENDING IT TO ***....

REALLY REGRET ..

I AM SORRY ..

JUST IGNORE IT ..

ITS ALREADY COLD BETWEEN US AND NOW ITS GOING TO BE EVEN MORE COLDER ...

JUST LET IT BE ..

JUST LET FATE,GOD TO DECIDE ALL THATS GOING TO HAPPEN ..

OR WHAT WILL HAPPEN ..

I CANT CONTROL IT ..

anyways ...

might be considering deleting either one or maybe both ...

but i am stil considering ..

so ..

or maybe i'll just leave it ...

when i want to post then i 'll post ..

end ...

♥ 12:53 AM

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

boring boring boring ..

so boring ...

i've nothing in my BRAIN right now ...

think i''ll update day next time ..

haix ...

♥ 11:25 PM

Saturday, July 15, 2006

i changed my blogskin AGAIN ...

YES !!!

AGAIN !!!

hope it looks OK???

i think so ..

found this blogskin FINALLY after a long finding of blogskins ..

*phew* ...

DO FLOOD MY TAGGIE BOARD ....

THANKS !!! =]

♥ 1:45 PM

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

was sick on monday and TODAY ...

so two days didnt go to school ...

i think missed quite alot of things le ba ..

haix ... Maths mock exam only got 28.5/80 ...

then today actally wanted to go to school but had fever again ..

so didnt go to school .. and they had their retest today ..

tml is FNN coursework B ...

haix .. another worrying thing again ...

don't know what will happen tomorrow ...

cannot eat fried food, spicy food ..

only plain plain food ...

Don't have appeitite also ..

keep feeling dizzy ...

anyways .. gonna end here ...

gonna rush my FNN coursework A ...

-END-

♥ 10:00 PM

Monday, July 10, 2006

seems to be getting tired to update my post ...
i am REALLY TIRED i guess ....
but i wont delete it ...
maybe just wont e posting so frequent ...
but i aint posting it frequently aint i ..
i AM TALKING RUBBISH ...
anyways ... lets say about the outing on SAT and SUN ...

Saturday 080606

today we met at hmm ... 10am ba ...

at cck mrt ...

when i reach there ...

peace,yummy and parry reached there le ..

i was LATE???

anyways ... took the mrt and went to Jurong East mrt ...

got down there and went to Jurong East library ...

after we reached there ...

went to find the books we needed ...

after that hmm ... wy came shortly after that ..

we found a place to sit down ..

there were'nt many books for us to find on ..

oh .. we saw kasmini too ..

after that we sat there .. find the books ..

chit chat around ..

talked about many things ...

really many ...

haha ...

after that we went off at around 12+ ...

cause quite a few of us were HUNGRY ...

we went to the food court at the Jurong entertainment centre ...

4 of us ate the western food and 1 of us ate the chinese noodle...

i'll upload the pictures later ..

after eating we walked around the place ...

window shopping ba can say ..

after that we walked back to the mrt ..

went in to ARIES and POPULAR ...

we stayed for quite a long time at POPULAR ...

bought some stuffs ...

after that we went home ..

*phew* ..

quite a tired day ...

Sunday 090606

today we met at a later time ..

as wy only can make it at 2 ...

so we met at 12pm ...

when i reach there parry,kenneth,peace and yummy all reached le ..

then waited awhile for the mrt to come and we headed to CWP...

reached there and went to had our lunch ..

didnt know what to eat ..

but ended up eating at the Japanese "fast food " resturant ...

didnt take photos today ..

ha ..

anyways i 4got whats the name of the resturant ..

its at the basement at CWP ...

after eating we walked around ..

walked until around 2+ ba ...

then we walked to library ..

wy had already reached there ...

we went to the reference area ..

found quite a number of "light" books regarding the topic of FNN that we wanted to find ..

after that we found a place to sit ..

we 3 then went to the 3 floor ba ..

thee were books on cookery ..

also found a number of related books ...

after that we browsed through the books ..

wy and kenneth left earlier as they were going to Mrs Loe's house to pray ..

the 4 of us left at around 5+ or 6+ ba ...

we then headed home ...

*phew* .. another tired day ..

so feel like sleeping now ..

but i cant .. i need to rush my FNN ..

i need to rush up on it ...

gotta hand it up TOMORROW ..

arrr .. awww ...

doubt i can finish it today ..

its already 12.39 am already ..

and there's school tomorrow ..

anyways .. i'll update some pictures ..

gotta get back to my FNN now ...

-END-

♥ 12:45 AM

Saturday, July 08, 2006

NOT IN THE MOOD TO POST ANYTHING ..

SO I'LL POST IT TOMORROW ...

AM FEELING FEELING BAD NOW ...

WHATS WRONG WITH ME ..?

♥ 2:23 AM

Monday, July 03, 2006

范玮琪 - 一个像夏天一个像秋天

第一次见面看你不太顺眼 谁知道后来关系那么密切

我们一个像夏天一个像秋天

却总能把冬天变成了春天

你拖我离开一场爱的风雪我背你逃出一次梦的锻炼

遇见一个人然后生命全改变

原来不是恋爱才有的情节

如果不是你我不会相信 朋友比情人还死心塌地

就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰

你也不会恨我只是骂我几句

如果不是你我不会确定 朋友比情人更懂得倾听

我的胸怀志意 我的有口无心

我离不开darling更离不开你你

拖我离开一场爱的风雪 我背你逃出一次梦的锻炼

遇见一个人然后生命全改变

原来不是恋爱才有的情节

如果不是你我不会相信 朋友比情人还死心塌地

就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰

你也不会恨我只是骂我几句

如果不是你我不会确定 朋友比情人更懂得倾听

我的胸怀志意我的有口无心

我离不开darling更离不开你

你了解我所有得意的东西

拆穿我留些意怕我忘形

你知道我所有丢脸的事情

却为我的美好形像保密

如果不是你我不会相信 朋友比情人还死心塌地

就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰

你也不会恨我只是骂我几句

如果不是你我不会确定朋友比情人更懂得倾听

我的胸怀志意我的有口无心

我离不开darling 更离不开你

♥ 3:57 PM

well .. another week has passed ...
its been almost one week since i last blogged ...
anyways ... hmm .. saturday went out with yummy ..
we went to Jurong library ..
because we were always going to Woodland's library ..
we were kinda of tired of going to that library so we went to Jurong east library ..
reached there decided to have lunch before going to library as it was already 12 or 1+ ...
so we had KFC and after that went to the library ...
we had to cross a road before it leads to the library ..
we saw something quite shocking ..?
a car was driving out from the library and it hit the cone at the centre of the road .. the cone was meant to be a divider at the road .. but the driver just knocked it down and went over it ..
there was a woman in front ... she shouted in chinese 'why this woman dunno how to drive car one .. how can like that ...' she was like quite angry ..
i was thinking wth is she angry with ...?
such weird mother eh ...
anyways .. we continued walking to the library ..
yummy went to return books when after we wantd to walk into the library ..
we saw a lady walking towards us ..
we thought she wanted to ask for directions ..
but she just said she was from NTU and was doing a survey ...
so we agreed doing the survey ...
awww ... kinda of long and she must be thinking this two girls sec5 english standard so low ..
WE DIDNT KNOW HOT TO ANSWER HER ...
aww .. anyways .. the survey was about the enviroment blah blah blah ...
after that went to find for books about my FNN coursework ... we had a hard time looking for it .. as we werent familiar with the arrangement of books there ...
after we found the books we wanted ..
next was a headache thingy .. to FIND SEATS ...
not much space there .. because all OCCUPIED ...
but we still managed to find a small small corner ...
browse through the books and after that managed to borrow two related books and 3 unrelated books ...
haaa ...
after that we walked around there and WENT HOME ...

today was a boring boring day ...

woke up at 12+ ... didnt eat breakfast ..

continued to type my fnn .. but was too boring so decided to update my blog ...

fri and sat didnt even touched my fnn .. today is my last day ..

but i doubt i'll finish them ..

at night still have to go out for gathering with my relatives ...

OH !! .. and

heard from my cousin who just came back from SHANGHAI ..

bao qing .. my friends from SHANGHAI ..

she asked my cousin to bring back some stuffs for me ..

NOTEPADS i think .. i've got tons of it ..

yet she still spent those money to buy so much stuffs for me ..

the last time she came was around Feb this yr i think ..

she brought whole lagguage of FOOD ..

but those food looks weird to me .. i didnt TOUCH them at all ..

anyways .. i wanna thank her ...

knew her since i was in pri school ...

she's been a great friend of mine ..

ALMOST LIKE A BIG SISTER TO ME ...

she is older than me by 3 or 4 i think ..

although she did something to me before ..

but its bygones ..

i've forgotten it ...

anyways ... i really treasure her alot ...

haa ...

gonna stop here ...

gonna get back to my FNN ... if not

i am DEAD MEAT ..

♥ 2:57 PM