1st day of my new job - 22nd May 2015

I dont know if this is a right choice..

♥ 12:32 PM

I was browsing through some blogger's blog and suddenly remembered that 'Hey i have a blog too!'
Logged into blogspot.com and immediately saw my blog.
Looked through the old post that i wrote.
The very last post that i wrote was on the previous day that i was going to start my new job which was on 25th April 2012.
This job lasted for almost 3 years which i quit on 26th Feb 2015.

It is now April almost May and YES i am still jobless.
Which i dont really feel proud in it.
Many things have happened within this 3 years...
Many which i dont wish to even mention or recall..

I am still me..
or should i say..
nothing much have changed..
maybe i am not so negative like last time..
i am a little much positive now..
but but but..
recently ever since i decided to quit my previous job..
i have been feeling very lost in life..
i feel so lost that i really dont know what i can do in my remaining days of living in this world..
i dont know what do i want..
i dont know what i actually want..
i feel so helpless that i really dont know what i can do..
but of course not to the extend that i feel like i should die or whatever so..
just really lost..
i hope to change to a better me..
but but but..
i dont know where to start, i dont know how to start.. i dont know what should i do..
i've been thinking if i really went to church by listening to different things about their religion would things be better or like maybe i might have some 启发.(fyi im a free thinker)

i dont know who can i turn to..
i dont know who can i talk to..
i dont know who can help me..
i tried telling people hoping that ppl can give me some opinions..
i hope some one can try to lead me back to the right and correct path..
but sad to say so far i have not found someone like that..

its been 3 years since i last blogger..
im already 26 year old this year but yet i am still 一事无成...
which make me feel very disappointed in myself..
my parents might not know what i think because i dont say because i dont want to argue about it..
and i haven found that someone who really understands me..

friends are now all either have a stable job, or either studying to pursue a better education and or have stable relationships..
me?
neither of this is happening to me..
i dont have a stable job, i dont have a stable relationship neither am i financially stable..

i guess i may be back to blogging..
it is still a good place for me to pour out my feelings..
although it somewhat feels like im talking to myself..

♥ 6:02 AM

♥ 1:50 AM

On thursday went to grandmother's house to help her tidy her room as she would be going home on saturday from old age home!!
Mummy bought good food back from tiong bahru market~
& tried to fix her fan that she bought previously but didnt manage to fix it.. I guess there's some problem with it..



Great lunch & dinner on good friday~
first time visit to watami though~
dinner was to seoul yummy @ novena~

♥ 10:07 PM

What i want is not much..
What i expect is not much..
What i need is not much..
But yet..
This little tiny winy expectation of mine you cant fulfill..
What can i still say?
If this is the least expectation in a friendship and yet you cant do it is this still considered a friendship in between us?
I dont think so..
If you have the heart to do something for someone you would have done it without anyone reminding or telling you to do it..
Therefore i conclude, we are not the best of best, we are not what we think we are..
I dont know how much you treasure this relationship because i know i did treasure it alot before..
But it doesnt seems so to you..
If you decided to let go, i have nothing to say but let you go..

♥ 2:55 AM

今年的生日讓我明白了很多。
如果有心不管怎樣都會為了你在所不辭！
我想我在這些人的眼裡根本不重要，但我卻把它們看得那麼重要。
卻連最基本的都做不到，我真的太失望了。
我放手了，這樣握著不屬於我的不珍惜我的真的很累。放手了對大叫都好！
我只需要懂得我，珍惜我，在乎我的人就夠了！

♥ 10:15 PM

祝自己生日快樂！

♥ 12:40 AM