I was browsing through some blogger's blog and suddenly remembered that 'Hey i have a blog too!'
Logged into blogspot.com and immediately saw my blog.
Looked through the old post that i wrote.
The very last post that i wrote was on the previous day that i was going to start my new job which was on 25th April 2012.
This job lasted for almost 3 years which i quit on 26th Feb 2015.
It is now April almost May and YES i am still jobless.
Which i dont really feel proud in it.
Many things have happened within this 3 years...
Many which i dont wish to even mention or recall..
I am still me..
or should i say..
nothing much have changed..
maybe i am not so negative like last time..
i am a little much positive now..
but but but..
recently ever since i decided to quit my previous job..
i have been feeling very lost in life..
i feel so lost that i really dont know what i can do in my remaining days of living in this world..
i dont know what do i want..
i dont know what i actually want..
i feel so helpless that i really dont know what i can do..
but of course not to the extend that i feel like i should die or whatever so..
just really lost..
i hope to change to a better me..
but but but..
i dont know where to start, i dont know how to start.. i dont know what should i do..
i've been thinking if i really went to church by listening to different things about their religion would things be better or like maybe i might have some 启发.(fyi im a free thinker)
i dont know who can i turn to..
i dont know who can i talk to..
i dont know who can help me..
i tried telling people hoping that ppl can give me some opinions..
i hope some one can try to lead me back to the right and correct path..
but sad to say so far i have not found someone like that..
its been 3 years since i last blogger..
im already 26 year old this year but yet i am still 一事无成...
which make me feel very disappointed in myself..
my parents might not know what i think because i dont say because i dont want to argue about it..
and i haven found that someone who really understands me..
friends are now all either have a stable job, or either studying to pursue a better education and or have stable relationships..
neither of this is happening to me..
i dont have a stable job, i dont have a stable relationship neither am i financially stable..
i guess i may be back to blogging..
it is still a good place for me to pour out my feelings..
although it somewhat feels like im talking to myself..